Monday, November 19, 2012

When Naked Isn't Naked Enough

Before we get into what promises to be a wildly entertaining and masterfully written blog post, I would like to say that I am well aware that I could have been posted in a country that has even higher temperatures in the summer...but I tell you what, it certainly doesn’t feel that way right now.

Right now it feels like I am in the butt crack of the earth, if the earth had been sitting on a tour bus of the grand canyon for the past 4 June...after the air conditioning gave out. Look at my candle:

Wanna know why my candle looks like that? It looks like that because it’s sad that it has to live in Botswana in the summer. But seriously, it was straight when I bought it and looked like that when I got home today which should be some indication of the heat (or possibly the quality of candles in Africa.)

People, I am a northern girl. I was born and raised in Michigan and when normal families went south for the winter, we spent New Years Eve in Canada because Ann Arbor just ain’t cold enough. I see salt and I wonder where the nearest icy driveway is, I see a big hill and I wonder how fast I could sled down it, I don’t have issues driving in anything less than four feet of snow and flip flops are perfectly acceptable in 20 degree weather.

So African summer pretty much makes me want to peel off my skin because naked isn’t naked enough.
Zo: you get to meet this dude when I come home

It’s so hot here that the water coming out of my tap is warm, and stays that way. I seriously considered putting my bucket into the fridge before bathing the other day, or maybe just bathing in the fridge...What kills me is that it never cools down, there is nowhere to hide; my roof is made of tin so that even at night my house still radiates heat. My landlady has taken to sleeping outside which would be great if we didn’t have the Discovery Channel running around everywhere:
Couldn't save this guy from my cat :(
killed this sucker and then trapped him under a yogurt cup for a month

Just chillin in the sink...
Mr Squiggles had babies!

Mr. Squiggles :) My suicidal bathroom lizard

There have been so many beetles out lately, that there were beetles eating beetles the other day. If cannibalistic bugs can’t help from eating their own kind, what do you think they will do to me? Not to mention it would seem as if November is donkey mating season and the amorous trysts of the locals have been incredibly loud, and that is with a concrete wall between them and myself.

So what is a girl to do aside sit around and pray for winter? I don't know if this post is going to have some sort of point, so I am just going to leave it at that for now. It is hot, my brain is all melty and whatnot, and for some reason or another I am going north to the Delta for Thanksgiving, which just means I'm going to spend 8hrs on a bus to get closer to the equator...because I'm an idiot. 

Much love, stay cool, 
Me looking sad and oh-so-very attractive with my frozen water bottle (this is what I image my candle would look like if it were a person)

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